Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All the doctor said was why
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
