I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
