Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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