ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
