The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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