are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
