How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
