need another drink. this is the easiest way
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
