No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
