he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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