i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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