Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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