I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
