I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dear god my vagina.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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