pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
