Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
