So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
