I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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