The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
