He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
