We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Who wears a wallet chain?!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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