Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
