Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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