why didn't you poke me back
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
