no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
