She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
