Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
