Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
