Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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