its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
