I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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