You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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