I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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