(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
