ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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