3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
