it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
