can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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