Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
