im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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