i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
