Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
