i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
