So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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