It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
