But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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