Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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