if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
