Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
