your thong is hanging out like whoa
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize