I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
