Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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