so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
well I can't set my house on fire every night
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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