So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she peed on how many people?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
