we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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