google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
