So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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