So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
